thoughtsgather

The darkness crept in.

And my girls saw me crying.

I tried to escape, I put my hair in front of my face and told them both I’d be right back.

I shut the door and lay face down on my bed. The sobs came fiercely. No suppression, I wanted them gone.

Footsteps outside the door. I breathe deep, healing breaths. I will be okay, I will be okay, I repeat to myself in whispers.

The sobbing and tears end. I look in the mirror, my face does not have the ability to hide the pain.

I open the door and they are both standing there.

“mommy crying” my two year old says.

“mommy’s fine” I smile and say to both of them.

My 6 year old says nothing. She wraps her arm around my middle and I kiss the top of her head.

“let’s go finish building with those blocks!”. My voice chipper and forced.

Maeve looks at me and smiles. We build castles together.