thoughtsgather

A space for my words to meander.

regrets 

They spoke of his gifts of grace and strength
Always humble and kind

But I wonder 

Was there ever a time he was able to speak his mind

Or did his concern for others always run the show 

Which do I aspire to

For I was gifted with both

The gifts of kindness and strength 

And those of concern for others

We are from the same cloth

And as I watched him take his last breaths 

I worried of my own regrets

And hoped he’d come to peace with his

Did he live the life he wanted

As he took his last breaths

I wondered of his regrets 

watch me

“You can’t put a bunch of words together and expect them to just mean something”

 

“Watch me”

perfect enough

There will be a day
I’ll realize that just me

Is perfect enough 

Snowy owl

snowy owl lands

camoflauged in the white snow

his eyes tell the truth 

Lightness turns to dark

What a strange thing when lightness turns to dark

Happiness, confidence and ease collapsing inward 
Or maybe dissipating out
Where once the ground was stable and the air pure
Now fog surrounds and the terrain- rocks and stones and twists and turns 
I take a deep breath
forward motion the only way

I’ve waded through fog before on different terrain
The fog has always lifted

Because that is its nature

And this is mine

right facing

 

 

facing left, she saw not what was right

right facing evaded her

all that was to be done

was to turn her head
and risk the sun

perfect image

with the house to ourselves, my wee girl asked to sleep with me that night

as a treat, i said yes, knowing these moments would disappear at any time

when i came to bed, she lay, doll in her arms

the street light shone a glow upon her face

my head upon my pillow

i lay silently

my eyes upon her closed eyes

studying her face in ways which i could not

through the busyness of the days

i marveled at her beauty

the perfection in her face

the little soul that lay inside

i marveled at how beautiful she is

and I marveled more at how she does in fact

look just like me

a mirrored reflection

slightly askew only due to the years upon my face

and then i marveled a final time

at how i could see such beauty in her face

and yet not the same in mine

when in fact

she is the perfect image

of me

check in

from time to time she thought

she’d seen it or heard it 

a small flicker in the sky

or a distant hum

that’s it, she’d think

that’s it, my check in time has arrived 

but there were momentary hesitations and the time passed

check in time delayed

and she’d stand guard for another sign

attention divided on every task

for she dared not miss the next great sign

but perhaps the course had diverted 

lettint others off and on

or perhaps she’d been so busy watching for flickers and listening for hums

that she missed that daily check in sign

right before her eyes

fault lines

Melancholy meanders

Shifting shapes

Living listlessly all around 

Poking and prodding

Finding fault lines

Entering

Sealing in the light

Salvation soaks

Sunday’s search sadly

Sanctuaries save souls

Sometimes

So seek slowly

Salivation soaks

So sweetly 

A space for my words to meander.

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